Behind every motivational post, healthy recipe, and physical check-in, there is a lack of. That goes for anyone on social media whether they choose to exploit themselves or not. I wanted to take the time and write out what I've been thinking and feeling in the past two weeks behind the scenes of social media, because I know I am not the only one who probably feels this way, and it helps me cope by writing. Maybe, you can take something away from this.
It's your friendly neighborhood "Kailey girl" here. For me, social media is an outlet to document places I've been, things I've done, goals I've reached in my life, and a way to encourage others to make gains in their life. I never post anything negative, and you'll never see me do it, because I don't like sharing my "crap" with the world. We all have crap. Whoop-di-doo. "Find a way to get over that crap, and move on", I say to myself. Sometimes it is harder to do than it is to say though.
Every morning I get out of bed, go to my small workout area in my sunroom, and do a Heather Robertson HIIT workout. This helps me stay occupied in the morning and jolts my energy to get a start on my day. Even though I do it, I wake up not always wanting to. I wake up not having an agenda or anyone to talk to (my roommate leaves the house and studies, and my boyfriend works). I'm a quiet, independent person, but even loners get lonely. I'm the type of person who needs to be doing something throughout the day and stay on her feet. Wandering around, driving back roads aimlessly gets boring after a while, and it slowly creeps into my sanity. Truth is, a lot of the time now I'm sad. I can't live my 20's up and go to bars with my friends. I'm not achieving my career goals (and I was constantly progressing) because productions are shut down. I have to resort to a job at Chili's, and listen to nothing but the thoughts inside my head throughout the day. Side note: I hate customer service jobs (retail, restaurants, etc). But, if it's what I have to do to keep my head above water, then I have to do it. When I worked at Sonic Drive-In, my dad always told me, "It's only temporary". He was right. It was. And right now with everything going on, it's only temporary, but I'm ready for change- in a good way.
One time in high school I literally said out loud, "Life sucks, and then you die". Five years later, and I'm here to tell you, that is NOT the case. Situations suck. People sometimes suck. Life- doesn't suck. Life is beautiful, and it's my job along with yours to share its beauty. I might get slightly depressed and not want to do anything at all. I might want to escape from reality and go back home to Mom and Dad, but running away from your problems instead of fighting them head on will never change anything for the better. Just like me, I pray you keep fighting the good fight. Keep finding things to do. Wake up and express your gratitude for life. Constantly remind yourself that uncomfortable situations suck. But remember they are only temporary, because there is so much more in the world that is good and right. It's possible you just haven't seen it yet.
How are you coping with the new every day normal? What is your daily schedule like? Please give me ideas and keep me whole.
- Kailey B
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